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she's a dreamer
frankenstein girls are strangely sexy

Kaori I.
date: 2007-04-17 19:28
subj: IB Exhibit
filter: Public
I had my IB Interview today. My exhibit has a short story to it and explains about the discovery of my love for art. It went so deep and dramatic that my voice began to crack as I got to the point where I was explaining about my trip to NY. By the end of the story (a painting of my self portrait being the last), I was basically shivering and tears were just on the edge of my eyelids and thanks to my talented, gravitational force of keeping in my tears I was able to stay calm 'til the end. I talked too much I feel like, but because of that my interviewer barely asked me any questions. I hope I didn't bore her too much. But I did tell her quite a lot of my life story and I was extremely satisfied.
I also did steal Picasso's quote when she asked me, "So what is Art to you?" I answered, "Art helps me express myself better than anything else. It eliminates the unnecessary" Sorry Pablo.
I felt like I was talking to a close friend about what's been happening and I felt so much lighter when it was all over. I think I babbled on for almost about an hour... The interview looked at me for a while, (a long while) and nodded. "Okay, thank you very much" My eyes were probably watery and unstable looking so Ms. Cachola kind of giggled and asked me if I were Okay. Of course I was. I could have never felt any better. This, from the bottom of my heart, was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had in my 17 years of life. It was my first step towards my dream and I felt so good to feel even just a little bit closer to my dream. read moreCollapse ) Gosh, he's so extra. He needs a chill pill or go home with Kenzie.

PS. After we graduate, Brent is getting new buses. For now, we have to deal with buses that carry cockroaches in them. So I learned a new word, ipis.
Kill Hannah is my best friend, they may not be around but they are the most influential. It's inexplanable. Good night.
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Kaori I.
date: 2007-04-14 18:18
subj: ....
filter: Public
Sometimes people look at me weird and tell me I'm being silly when I tell them about my greatest influence, Kill Hannah. They've even influenced me a lot on my college decision, believe it or not.... Gosh, I know it's just a darn band. But obession for Kill Hannah has led me into becoming a 'dreamer'. Everytime I was upset - when school was still one of my stresses, when family was still the biggest pain in the ass, when dramas were still things I couldn't leave behind and forget, when I just felt like I wanted to pooof disappear.. Somehow, this simple band that almost none of my friends really appreciate, has made me feel like everything is going to be ok.
Their songs have made and still make me smile like a baby :) It felt like I could relate with them; their songs are my lullabies every night, alarm clock music every morning on the bus, noise cancellers during classes.
PS. I was listening to their song, Hyperactive when I was opening a letter from SAIC yesterday. It turned out I got a scholarship from my school, and it was like a dream. I still cry to the song everytime I think about it. Life is so unpredictable, yet so beautiful and surprising!
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Kaori I.
date: 2007-04-09 22:03
subj: Kyoto
filter: Public
Me, standing in the busy crowd at Kyoto station
I visited Kyoto with my mom and I absolutely loved it! Well. Mom is a stereotypical Japanese so wherever she went, she definitely carried a map or two with a camera around her neck but not a lica or anything. She uses a pretty high-tech digicam which she's not familiar with. She took a lot of pictures of me with statues and landscapes. I don't know what she found amusing in doing this, and I even suggested maybe I should take of her since she seems much more interested in the photos than I am. I was much more interested in the incredible shopping in that city. I hated the temples and gardens. Gosh they truly wasted the minutes of my life in Japan. Well, mom thought I was being unreasonable for a 'grown-up' 18 year old (18 in a couple of months); She told me I should learn to 'appreciate' things more. Ughhhh
Anyway. Here's one of my embarrassed self, being a studious, Japanese on tsua (tour). viewCollapse )
I got to spend a lot of time with my grandpa which was good, even though it was only for a day and a half. I feel so bad for him because he lives allllll by himself.... He was telling us about how his swimming buddies (he used to tell us longer time ago that his swimming buddies were so interesting to gossip with and they made his life so much funner!) had all gone their own ways. One passed away, one had issues with her family so she couldn't come out to swim anymore, the other moved to a different city, etc. etc. So he's all by himself again like the first few months since grandma passed away (4-5 years ago?). He's an incredibly smart person and enjoys surfing the internet a lot! He's a big gourmet, he learned to look up restaurants online. Every month, he visits different restaurants and rates them in his little notebook. When he visits restaurants, he goes all by himself now. :-( Since he has no more buddies to go with! When Mom and I visited him, he was so glad to have companies to eat out with and was so, so excited! It was like me, flying to Chicago! He was so talkative, and hyper, and jolly - I honestly couldn't believe he is 80. Jeeez. He's incredibly healthy too. He's still got all his teeth, had none pulled out and no fakes either. Amazing! My dad never visits him, neither does my dad's brother because the brother is too busy enjoying his fabulously happy family. They're so happy and dandy it really scares me. Anyway. Enough with the sad stuff. I miss my grandpa :-(

On another note..... I have been a BIG Tourist, myself! Gosh I can't bad mouth my mother like this because I, Kaori Ikeda, have purchased a copy of LONELY PLANET! To spend time a little more wisely (especially during Scitech, studyhalls, after schools, my becoming studyhall art classes, hours of boredom), I decided to study on CHICAGO! My excitement is rising greater daily, it's almost uncontrollable. This is unbarable; I have never thought about HOW I could let time just slip away, how I could possibly WASTE time so that I can forward it to the 15th of Aug, when I will be flying to the Chi-town. Damn it, this is ridiculously driving me c to the raze. I am so, so, THRILLED!!!!!!!! I really don't give a rat's ass about school anymore in many different ways, not only academically. I'm just simply waiting for it to E. N. D! Ahhh
Where oh where is my graduation day? (x3) Will be Safe and great in wonderful Chi town.
PS. I had odd dreams last night.
PS2. School tomorrow. Great.
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Kaori I.
date: 2007-03-31 18:05
subj: What a hhhappy weekend!
filter: Public
It's so great to get up in the morning thinking I won't have to deal with the stress not only for the weekend but for the rest of the week! I went to get a haircut today and it felt really good for some reason. A good change, even though I don't look any different. My hair's not that short but I got rid of my ugly ends and the crazy thickness. Mom got one too. She hates Topshop because she thinks the fashion nowadays is to look old and poor. But she bought me a pair of shorts anyway. But I guess I'd agree with her that Topshop does have bad quality. Then as usual, we ate Arrabiatta at Figaro... It's our tradition now. Hehe.
I'm flying to Osaka on Monday and I am soooo excited! It's been so long since I last visited that dear old Ninja land and I'm so thrilled to see my grand papi. He must've grown ooold. Actually, he never does. He's much more fit than I am. He swims for an hour every morning and ends the day with another half an hour in the gym going on the treadmill. During the afternoon he plays the piano and goes out to socialize to avoid growing mental. He's the biggest health freak I know after Kenzie (another health freak that I met during my hours in the Nursery, AKA daughter of Mr. Atkins the extra/assistant principle at my high school). I really think this holy week break is necessary for me to cool off from school and etc etc. When I get back from break, I'll be missing school anyway and that will lead me to enjoy school again.
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Kaori I.
date: 2007-03-29 00:01
subj: Oh Suddenly
filter: Public
Suddenly, I'm missing life in New York. I miss Ellen, I miss Dannie and I miss Heather and everyone else at the Marlton House. I miss how we'd go down to the bagel shop in the morning and have 50c delicious burnt bagels with butter. I miss having to walk until the 3rd ave and browsing at Utrecht. Then during the night, Nai and I would have our magical trip in the Washing square park together with our homeless friends.... I miss the chinese man at the Laundry, and the drunk man at the Heinekin shop next to the laundromat. I miss the dim sunlight on our street, and how outside my window, I could see the most random strangers dashing towards the 5th avenue. I actually miss being called the Dumb Asian, or the little Japanese Girl. I miss the kids at Washington square park, and the ignorant parents not knowing the insanely strong smelling marijuana; they watched after their dogs in the pen. The police cars would always roam around the park, while we listened to really good bands. I miss how everything was just plain simple. I'd get up around 8AM with Ali falling off the bunk, or wake up seeing her eating her cereals doing Sudoku. Then we'd get ready and go our own ways to class (since she was in a different building on the different street). On the way to my building, I always passed by a church where a lady with her not so pretty dog were always eating Bananas. She and I became morning buddies by the Equador banana station. The Equador guy sold 3 bananas for a dollar! Great deal. But her dog always stunk, it wasn't very nice. Life was just smooth, I knew what I was doing, nothing could have gone wrong, it seemed like. The program was hectic as hell but I was never reluctant to work. I loved summer, I had already wished High school was over at that time.
Then now I'm hating my everyday life. I know I'm graduating and I'm crazy excited but I don't think this is because of my seniorities. I just hate school in general right now. On top of that, I do have the worst seniorities, begged mom earlier if I could skip school tomorrow again. I miss being happy, purely. I miss the good natural highs we had outside the window in room 806. Armen Van Buuren night was quite the insanity, I will never forget! The greatest things always end short. I need to get out of here and I feel devastated that I still have a couple of months to go until I get to see the beautiful city of Chicago and get to learn meet experience new things people places etc., new environment, brand new everything. I love mom, and I love how we are getting along so well nowadays; we spend almost every weekend together! I've never felt the pretty good feeling of actually prioritizing my family before my own social stuff. I come home, knowing it's my home - not some house that I have to get back into by curfew or by some certain time away from my friends, back into the boringville. I now come home feeling good to be back into the house with mom being there. It feels like, I could care less about everything else, when mom's around. Actually, I don't care about anything anymore (especially since IB Art is all done); all I care about are mom, dad, my loves, and Chicago. Of course there are other people I love but then I don't see them everyday so I could only miss them so much; sigh. My life sounds narrow. But I'm simply waiting, what else can I do? Sudoku?
School, please end already before I kill myself because you are boring me to death. This is an upsetting LJ entry. :'-(
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Kaori I.
date: 2007-03-25 17:15
subj: (no subject)
filter: Public
Dad came home last night. He brought home a Vietnamese good luck charm and mom didn't really like it but she was forced to display it by her bed. It is kind of creepy but apparently, it brings good luck. It's a pig's face carved in lettuce made out of a jemstone. Mom doesn't like the pig's red eyes. This morning, I sat in the dining table. I spoke with dad beginning with a "Could you please pass me the butter?" and we finally, for the first time in a long time, had a very good conversation from the superficial to ocean deep.
He thinks Chicago doesn't sound like a bad idea although it is difficult to give up on my scholarship at University of the Arts. He works at a bank, he likes everything that is financially good. But then he too, agrees studying with a bunch of Jazz dancers and Ballerina's doesn't sound like a good plan. I can deal with gays at parades, but I never plan to be in one. As horrible and discriminating as that might sound, I care about how well I can concentrate and focus on my studies when I get to college unlike in how I was in my high school life. (Haha!) I don't plan on going crazy and putting school aside. I'd never heard dad speak with more priority for my studies than his interest in money. It was nice. We then talked about Parsons and Pratt. Read more...Collapse )
Dad never interrupted me and listened. Usually, with 5 or more sentences from my mouth, dad and I are bound to argue. Today, I felt like an angel was sitting in the dining table to keep away the germs in my dad's temper, and mine!When dad and I do have peaceful talks, we talk more than mom and I normally would. Mom and I talk about almost anything under the sun except on pot and college (because mom doesn't like the thought of my leaving). Dad and I talk like we can publish a book on it. I love how he is selfishly clever and philosophically intelligent. He knows life and he knows how to deal with things. Not everything, but most things that usually bother the hell out of me like high school and people. He is such a negative person, that he can ignore everything and think only about himself. He tells me being selfish is only selfish because others say so. But being selfish is just respecting yourself the most by living a good life.
"Spend money on things you like, go wherever you like whenever you like. Spoil yourself because in the end, you're all on your own. You cut yourself, only you feel the pain, your doctor can only give you medicine but you're the first and last to deal with it all."
"Believe in yourself because you know that you know better than everyone else. Because.. that's all you know and even if somebody else might claim they know better, you don't know what they know better than you, and they don't know everything that you know. Neither of you know any better! But just believe you know better, it makes you Feel better!"
Dad could have been high, drunk, sober, whatever, honestly, I don't even know the guy that well from the cover. I just know, he is incredibly clever. I may or may not miss him when I go to college, but I will miss his strange thoughts. But sometimes I wish he wasn't so "I don't give a shit" with everything. Because he just went out with the car without letting mom and I know, when mom and I were planning to use the car to go look for her new sewing machine... He's not even texting mom back nor picking up the phone, gosh...
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Kaori I.
April 2007